Marriage merry-go-round

Last month we received by post an invitation for a wedding. Neither my wife nor I recognized any of the names on the card. Purely based on regional grounds we concluded that the invitation was from one of my wife’s relatives. I wanted to give the function a miss, but decided to accompany my wife to prevent her throwing any tantrum later. I told her a gift of Rs 101 would suffice for someone unknown. She insisted it should be at least Rs 501.At the wedding we did not see a single soul that we recognized. After greeting the bridal couple and handing over the envelope I insisted that we have lunch. When we returned home and saw the invitation cover I found that it was addressed to another Narayan living on the third floor.

Life was simple when we lived in Delhi and Hyderabad. We did not know anyone who was celebrating an upanayanam, wedding, or even a shastipoorthi. Our outlay on presents was zero. However, when we returned to Bangalore our pocket was hit rather hard. The presence of myriad relatives from both sides, and our hectic social life added considerable numbers to our list of friends and acquaintances. This automatically converted into expenses on presents. I am rather conservative with what I feel is a reasonable spend on gifts but my wife had other ideas. She claimed that our new found social status demanded a more liberal shelling out. 

Initially, I suggested a via media of gifting a bouquet as it seemed less expensive and also more stylish. However, at most functions we found our bouquet compared rather poorly with flower offerings from others. Nowadays, we prefer giving cash in an envelope as it is more convenient and discreet. When I go alone to a wedding of a stray acquaintance and see too big a queue in the reception line I quietly move away to the food area and later return home with the envelope safe and sound in my pocket.

I remember the time when my aunts and cousins were getting married. The favourite place to buy gifts was the friendly neighbourhood “Fancy Stores.” Depending on one’s budget one could buy anything from a photo frame to a fruit bowl to a lamp. Those days the most popular items were the aluminum Milk Boiler and the Rice Cooker, which let out an amorous whistle when done. I would also love to sit in on the elaborate ceremonial opening of the presents. Generally, an elderly male would be in charge of noting down the name of the giver against the gift. A collective sigh would be let out when multiple numbers of the same item, particularly the uninteresting ones, would be listed. These would later be repacked neatly for re-circulating.

When my wife and I sat down to open our presents soon after our marriage we were pretty excited to receive a couple of bone china tea sets and also a full porcelain dinner set. This was offset by a set of cheap plastic ice cream cups complete with plastic spoons with the handles moulded in the shape of scantily-clad women. After a bit of snooping we founded that it was gifted by a couple living down the road who had got married just three days before. Presumably, they wanted to get rid of that hideous item at the earliest. We had a tough time persuading our maid servant to take it off our hands.

As both my sons are married the chances of me receiving any gifts is, sadly, an historical past.